The Rewatch Project: Season 5, Episode 1: The Wars to Come

Recap

Young Cersei and her friend Malara traipse through the woods to the house of a woods witch. They wake the woman and Cersei rudely lets her know she is not nearly as impressive as she's heard, then demands the woman tell their future. The witch gives her a knife and says she needs to taste her blood so Cersei slices her thumb and the woman sucks it, then says Cersei can ask three questions. Cersei asks when she will marry the prince. The witch says she will marry the queen. Cersei confirms she will be queen, and the witch confirms, but finishes that it will be until one younger and more beautiful replaces her and takes all she holds dear. And finally Cersei asks about children. The king will have twenty and Cersei three. Gold will be their crowns and gold their shrouds. Meaning they will die before Cersei.

Adult Cersei rides in a litter to the sept. She demands to go in alone and finds Jaime standing watch over Tywin's body. Jaime says the vague “they” will try to tear them apart now, but Cersei puts the blame solidly on Jaime for letting Tyrion go. She kisses Tywin's head and leaves again.

Tyrion peeks out a hole in his crate as Varys pries it open. Tyrion dives for the wine and feels sorry for himself. They are at the home of Illario Mopatis (where Dany and Viserys lived for a time). Varys gives a pretty darned good sales pitch for at least meeting Danaerys.

The slaves and Unsullied pull down the harpy in Meereen, then an Unsullied goes to a whore for a snuggle. Unfortunately, as they settle in, she slits his throat. He looks up to see the Harpy's mask. When Dany learns she insists he will have a burial in the Temple of the Graces. This will piss off the Sons of the Harpy, but she says that is good. Angry snakes stick their necks out, which makes it easier to chop off their heads. Missendei then finds Grey Worm, trying to understand why Unsullied would seek prostitutes.

Jon trains Ollie at Castle Black. Gilly asks if Sam should be training, then they fret about Ser Alliser's views of wildlings. If Ser Alliser is made Lord Commander, Gilly won't be allowed to stay. Sam says where she goes, he goes. Melisandre comes to Jon and says the King wants to see him, then she rides the lift with him, asking awkwardly if he is a virgin.

Jon kneels before Stannis. Stannis asks if Jon knows who rules at Winterfell and asks if he doesn't want to root the Boltons out. Jon says he wants a great many things, but he is a sworn brother of the Night's Watch. Davos says some of the brothers feel Jon has too much affinity for the Wildlings. Jon says they are not monsters. Stannis shares his plans and says he needs men. At first Jon misunderstands and says the Night's Watch don't take sides, but Stannis means the wildlings—he will forgive them and give them land if they fight for him. He asks Jon to make the case to Mance.

Sansa, Littlefinger and Lord Royce watch Robin pathetically sparring and discuss his lack of skill, but at least he has an important name. They leave Sweetrobin with Lord Royce to tour the Vale, supposedly to go to The Fingers, though Sansa notes they are going West. He says they are going somewhere Cersei cannot get her hands on Sansa.

Loras Tyrell gives words of comfort to Cersei. She thanks him and blows him off. Lancel shows up, head shaved and in monks robes. Kevan explains that he is a sparrow—a group of religious zealots. Lancel finds Cersei and apologizes to her for leading her to temptation. He also mentions the incident with Robert and his wine. He has found peace in the Light of the Seven and tells her she can too.

Olivar the whore outlines Loras's birthmark, noting it is shaped like Dorne. Margaery burst in, scolding Loras for his lateness. When Olivar leaves she tells Loras he should be more discreet. They discuss Cersei. Margaery sounds like she has a plan.

Tyrion and Varys make jibes, Tyrion still feeling sorry for himself. He asks why Varys freed him. It was for the Seven Kingdoms. Tyrion says he's done with them but Varys points out his skills. He gives his pitch for Danaerys.

Hizdar and Daario return to Meereen and give a positive report. It sounds good, but the Masters want some concessions. They would like to re-open the fighting pits. Dany says no. In bed later Daario says she should open them. He made his way in the world starting in the fighting pits. He also suggests she needs to use her dragons. A dragon queen with no dragons is not a queen. She goes to see them but they're pissed at her.

Jon goes to Mance to tell him what Stannis wants, but Mance already knows. Jon tries to present the importance of saving all his people but Mance ends it with one of the best lines ever: The freedom to make my owns mistakes is all I ever wanted.

Surprise ending...

Mance is walked out to the pyre, tied to a stake and Melisandre gives her pedantic zealot speech then lights him afire. Everyone watches as Mance gets uncomfortable, then the flames reach him. He manages not to scream. Jon leaves, Gilly hides her face and Selyse has an orgasm. Then Jon shoots an arrow into Mance's heard from a walkway.


Discussion

Of course when Cersei asks when she will marry the prince, she is referring to Rhaegar, and when the woods witch says she will marry the King, she thinks that is still who it refers to. And the younger more beautiful queen who will take it all from her? Of course this informs so much about how Cersei behaves first toward Sansa, then Margaery. Finally, I'm disappointed the prophecy didn't mention the Valonqar from the books. The last line in the book is: And when your tears have drowned you, the valonqar shall wrap his hands about your pale white throat and choke the life from you. Powerful stuff. A valonqar, in old Valyrian means “little brother” (both Jaime and Tyrion are younger than Cersei) but it says THE valonqar, not YOUR valonqar, so it may not even be HER little brother. It may be the little brother of anyone she has harmed (the little brother of that queen?) and because High Valyrian is gender bendy, it may not even be a male, but any younger sibling (my money is on Arya).

I am so not a fan of pouty Tyrion. I like Varys here, but Tyrion is hard to watch until later in the season.

Also not thrilled with it being Stannis who wants the Wildlings to come through the wall. Jon makes that decision in the books—he asks for one of ten men to stay and serve at the wall, desperately trying to replenish the men at the Wall. It is a huge part of the reason for what happens at the end of the season.

On watching this episode again, there are only a few things HERE that bug me. Mel's come on to Jon, Tyrion the pathetic depressed imp, Loras so glibly having his fling with Olivar (Loras of the books truly loved Renly. He wasn't some randy slut). But what actually bugs me is stuff they skipped or changed.

Predictions for the Last Three Episodes (Spoilers)

Arya

 I believe she will be “Cat of the Canals” in episode 8—learning the value of listening and learning. Then she will advance to a more “disguised” role and she will run into Meryn Trant and Mace Tyrell. She will “seduce” (not all the way, but act as if she is) Meryn and will kill him. She will confess to J'aquen and the end of the season for her will be waking up blind. (her Blind Beth bit will be in season 6)


Sansa 

I believe she will use that tool she found to pick her lock. She will begin sneaking out of her room, will light the candle, and will take up the role of “ghost of Winterfell” (Boltons are going to start dying and there will be no explanation)--I think Miranda will be her first kill. I think in episode 10 she will be CAUGHT and decide she has to escape. She will take Theon with her and Brienne will escort them to Stannis.

Stannis

 I believe Stannis will REFUSE to kill Shireen, that Melissandre and Selyse will try anyway. Stannis will send Shireen off with Ser Davos to safety and will send Melissandre and Selyse back to the wall. I believe the end of the season for them will be Selyse getting the letter than Stannis is dead (though I don't believe he will be). The end of the season for STANNIS will be the arrival of Sansa, Brienne and Theon (who is a king's son, eh? A worthy sacrifice?)


King's Landing

Tommen will have the foresight to send for Ser Kevan to help him. Mace will also return. I think Loras may win a trial by combat against Lancel. His innocence will also clear Margaery. Cersei will repent on PART of her crimes, but not all. Her walk of shame will be in episode 9 (the biggie for that one). After her walk, however, she will be isolated from power and forced to pretend piety because there will still be the pending trial for crimes she does NOT admit to.

Dany 

Dany will marry Hizdar. I think Tyrion will convince her to forgive Jorah. The fighting pit scene will turn violent and Dany will fly off on Drogon. The last scene in Meereen will show that grey scale is beginning to spread.


Jon

Hard home is gunna be hella scary. I think maybe there are people with grey scale in the water and white walkers OUT of the water and it will really suck. Jon will bring wildlings back, send Sam, Gilly, Shireen and Davos south on a ship and then tell the brothers he is letting wildlings through the wall. The brothers will mutiny and Ollie will stab Jon...

Game of Thrones, Season 5, Episode 7: response and predictions

So I didn't review last week. The episode was hard and I felt like I spent a lot of energy arguing on OTHER people's public forums as to how things DID go, COULD have gone and SHOULD have gone. So yeah... sorry about that.

5.6 in 30 seconds 

 I WILL say I loved the Hall of Faces in the Arya scenes, thought Iain Glen's facial acting when Jorah learned of his father's death was incredible. I thought they thoroughly botched the Sand Snakes Scene and while I hated the Grey Wedding Night (though the wedding itself was gorgeous and true to the north), I can't see another way a wedding night with Ramsey might have gone. So there.


Now, onto this week.

Oh, Maester Aemon I sobbed through all of this. Seriously more touching to book readers who understand that not only was Aemon the OLDER brother of King Aegon the Unlikely (which means it was offered to Aegon first), he took the black so nobody would threaten his younger brother (with the alternate and older Aemon available as fallback). He was truly selfless.

This death is the only death of old age we've seen on this show. Even old Nan was apparently killed when Ramsey's men sacked the castle from Theon. But we also lose history with him—someone who knew more than anyone alive. He'd had more than one hundred years to accumulate knowledge and had dedicated his life to exactly that. He understood cooperation and respect for the realmS of men. We shall never see his like again.

And how ominous, telling “Gilly-flower” to get her son south, before it's too late.

PREDICTION: A merger with the Stannis story below Sam and Gilly!!!

I have felt these two AT THE WALL strained it all a bit. In the books they aren't under everybody's nose (Sam is sent to take a few people to safety and Gilly and “her” babe are part of it) so it feels more natural. That said, I like the sweetness between them and Sam and his “Oh my”--perfect Sam response... It was sweet sex, rather than graphic sex, which for these two was perfect.

A Sand Snake Scene I can get behind!

 I can forgive the gratuitous boobage. I liked the interaction between Tyene and Bronn. And I liked that they made us fear for Bronn's life, then saved him... or DID they?

 Erm... but they seem to have...

Probably had Bronn been a total ass over there, she would have just let him die, but we all know Bronn is charming...

My problem this whole time (other than bad choreography) is the sand snakes collectively come across cartoonish. One at a time they are much more compelling. I liked this peek at Tyene. Sacrifice your Daughter! No freaking way. Stannis asks Melissandre if she's out of her mind. GO STANNIS!

Want my prediciton here?

 PREDICTION: I think Selyse will make a move to help Melissandre sacrifice Shirene and Stannis will send Davos off to save her. Davos will take her to the wall as Sam realizes he has sapped the wall's resources on how to fight white walkers and he will get sent to Old Town to read more. He will take Shirene, Gilly and Little Sam for their safety.

Echos of Joffrey: "I have something to show you".

Winterfell—OI!

I so wanted a turn around this week, but Theon fell through. The peek of hope was Sansa picking up some small sharp thing from the walkway. CRACKDICTION:  Maybe she will put out Ramsey's eye. That would be good. Want a crackpot rendition? This will happen, then Ramsey will try to hunt her, but on the hunt, Nymeria and her superpack will appear and wipe out Ramsey and his dogs and then carry Sansa off toward the wall. On the plus side, Sansa rubbing the bastard thing in is setting Ramsey up to kill fat Walda.

HOPEDICTION (can't really call it a prediction just yet) THEN she will follow with “there can be another wife and another son” so Ramsey will kill Roose... Or I hope...


King's Landing

Lady Olenna ROCKS. She always rocks, but man, the High Sparrow sure is inscrutible. Hard to deal with someone who has no price. And then we get Littlefinger admitting he gave Cersie Oliver, but to pay it back, he gives Olenna a handsome boy (Lancel). And MAN, did THAT pay off. Oh, Cersei... How could you NOT see this coming? Everybody else did. You were warned, even. Littlefinger himself said, “do you think it's wise?”

 Not giving my prediciton here as I've read and am pretty sure I know how this goes... With the church in Croatia protesting that nudity can't be done in a church... what? The episode overall felt a little heavy on set up ad light on payoff, but that final payoff made up for much of it and I am very excited for the final three episodes.

What did you guys think?

Sons of the Harpy: Episode 5:04 Review

No real spoilers if you are caught up on the show

Faith Militant 

Cersei, Cersei, Cersei. Oh, the things you aren’t grasping… How wise is it for an incestuous mother of the king who was complicit in her husband the king’s death to ARM people who are going to go after sinners? Can you REALLY believe that isn’t going to come back to bite you?

Lancel, newly branded as a zealot

That said, this religious war in Westeros is very promising for being HUGE. We’ve already had R’hollor and his thirst for burning people. Melissandre has been everyone’s favorite naked zealot. Now the seven are being armed. The drowned god wants everyone drowned because what is dead may never die… The god, Death, has his own team of assassins and Arya is becoming one. All we need now is for the Old Gods to rise (or is that the white walkers?). Seriously, hard as it is to watch poor Loras dragged off, I am loving this line because it suggests so strongly that Cersei is biting off more than she can chew. Sidenote: sending Mace Tyrell to Bravos with Meryn Trant. Gee… who ELSE is in Bravos? Somebody who maybe has Meryn Trant on a certain list…

Stumpy and Grumpy Take Dorne… or Something 

Jaime and Bronn arrive and I thought their interactions were great. I loved the spear through the snake right next to Jaime’s head and the battle right off the bat with the excellent save Jaime makes catching the sword with his golden hand. The sand snakes however, are coming up short for me. I feel like 1) they are trying too hard and 2) they aren’t clearly enough distinguished. I think I would have preferred to meet them one at a time. This isn’t really spoilery to say in the books they are all badass but they are very distinct.

C’mon Jon, Let’s Make a Shadow Baby 

Erm… yeahnothanks. I sort of figured this was coming, Mel’s none-too-subtle offer. Glad Jon resisted. What I LOVED at the wall was the Stannis/Shireen interaction. That poor little girl. I’ve always liked her—love the actress who portrays her. But the brilliant surprise was learning Stannis feels responsible for the Greyscale and fought for her when she got it. Also… erm… greyscale has been mentioned EVERY episode. Something BIG is going to happen regarding greyscale this season. There is no way it’s not. I predict a primary character is going to get it.

 War in Mireen

Oh, man, things just got really ugly, eh? And two deaths I didn’t expect… well one I sort of did from trailers, but poor Dany is now ALONE other than Daario (and how reliable IS Daario?). Thank goodness Jorah and Tyrion are on their way back to her! (LOVED how Tyrion totally filled in all the blanks about Jorah—too accurately for Jorah’s comfort).

Lyanna Stark as depicted by Riavel

My FAVORITE BIT

We got two versions of the Rhaegar/Lyanna story. Petyr Baelish tells Sansa of the Tournament at Harrenhall where Rhaegar won, bypassed his wife and crowned Lyanna the Queen of Love and Beauty with a crown of blue roses. (really pissed off Robert to whom she was promised and set off the war that overthrew Mad Aerys). Hint: this backstory would NOT have been hit so heavily if it were not important to future story. I’m just sayin… I’m thrilled they are bringing this out so explicitly.


Overall I thought the episode lacked some of the umph of the last one. Maybe because it was about 8 minutes short and I felt temporally cheated, because looking at recaps it had some good stuff, but when it ended last night all I could think was "was that it?" I DO tend to feel cheated when I don't get any Arya...

And for the most entertaining YouTube Review, I present Ozzy Man. Seriously--go have a watch.

Brienne Show Prediction

Spoiler free if you are caught up on the SHOW.

This territory is pretty safe as spoilers go since the show has diverged so much from the books. Last week we saw Brienne reiterate her intention to kill Stannis and I've seen some frenzied debate on whether she will, or whether Stannis will kill HER.

I think we have another thing coming.

Brienne, in addition to wanting to avenge Renly by killing Stannis also swore an oath to protect the Stark girls. Sansa is currently poised to be in a very dangerous situation. Without getting into my Sansa predictions much (which I have, but I will post separately) I predict there will be a time Sansa needs to flee Winterfell. Brienne will know Stannis is near (he has said he is marching south) and that he is the most likely person able to keep Sansa safe from the Boltons, so she will have to choose. Save Sansa and give up her commitment to kill Stannis, at least for now, or kill Stannis but leave Sansa in danger. I think we all know how that decision will go.