Davos is aboard his ship; behind are many more. A bunch of atmospheric stuff blah blah. Puking. Davos and Matthos discuss “The Royal Navy” and how people in King's Landing see this (rightful king versus invasion). Matthos is delusional.
Tyrion wakes with Shae thinking about war. She asks if he is afraid and swears she will protect him.
Cersei shows boredom with Pycelle though he has brought her Essence of Nightshade. She won't let him ask her why and dismisses him rudely.
Soldiers sing and drink in preparation for battle. Bronn flirts with a whore. The Hound comes in and is surly. Bronn buys them a round, but the Hound just leers. He and Bronn banter and all talk turns to killing. The Hound postures and Bronn has his hand on his knife when the battle bells ring and they agree to have one last drink before the war.
Tyrion talks to Varys as Pod dresses him for battle. Varys asks if Tyrion trusts Pod (Strangely, I do) then pulls out a map of the tunnels that run under the city. Tyrion appreciates it but says he'll stay. Varys is concerned about Stannis's red priestess and says she can think of nothing worse than somebody under those powers sitting on the iron throne and right now Tyrion is the best chance they have of stopping him.
Siege bells ring so Davos orders the drums. (love those drums)
Bronn and Tyrion head out. Tyrion sees Sansa and Shae. He reminds them Maegar's Holdfast should be safe but Joffrey has requested Sansa see him off. Joffrey calls Sansa over and demands she kiss his blade. She puts in some subtle digs that if he were brave he would obviously be in the vanguard. Shae leads Sansa off. The battle area is chaotic.
Up on the wall Joffrey joins Tyrion. Lancel and Joffrey offer their worthless panic “DO STUFF!” There is a silly conversation where Tyrion won't answer Joffrey directly.
Davos wonders where the Lannister ships are and doesn't buy Matthos suggested than they've mutinied.
Cersei collects her ladies, complaining all the while and drinking a lot. She calls Sansa over for the first of about fourteen times. Sansa asks why Ser Illyn is there and Cersei says for their protection, then she sends him to behead the first looters and gives a lecture that to rule the small folk need to fear you.
Tyrion commands the archers as Joffrey snivels about the Lannister's single ship.
Davos commands his me to hold. The Lannister ship is not only alone, it is empty. Then Davos spots the wildfyre and orders the ships to steer clear. Bronn fires his arrow and lights the river on fire. The green spreads every which way taking ship after ship. Joffrey and the Pyromancer look on delightedly as Tyrion and the Hound both look more devastated.
Dontos juggles as Cersei drinks. She calls Sansa over again; Sansa has been leading a prayer for mercy. Cersei pours and demands Sansa drink. She then prattles on trying to shock Sansa with first a suggestion that she'd seduce anyone but Stannis, then the suggestion that if the city falls, they are all in for a bit of a rape.
Stannis's men row ashore. Joffrey panics. Tyrion sends the Hound to form a group to fight the men coming ashore. He sends Pod to get men from another gate.
Boats reach the shore. Fire arrows fly. A lot fall but many still make it ashore.
Battle battle battle. Lancel gets hurt.
Cersei drones about how she and Jaime were treated differently. She spots Shae and starts to question her when Lancel comes in panicking. He announces that Stannis's troops are outside the city walls. She demands Joffrey be brought to his chambers. Lancel argues it will dishearten the troops but Cersei insists. She then tells Sansa Illyn is there so Stannis won't take them alive.
Battle battle, fire battle.
The Hound freaks.
Ladders go up the wall.
Battle battle.
The Hound asks for a drink then spits the water out. Tyrion orders him to go back out and fight. Joffrey echos him. The Hound refuses. Eloquently (see quote)
The ram begins pounding the Mud Gate. Lancel comes for Joffrey and you can tell that kid can't get out of there fast enough. He orders two of the King's Guard to represent him. Tyrion makes a fantastic speech (see quotes).
Lancel tells Cersei it is lost because because Joffrey left the front lines and the men lost heart. Cersei knocks him over and leaves with Tommen.
Sansa gives a pep talk to the women still there and then starts a hymn. Shae tells Sansa to go to her room; Stannis won't hurt her, but Illyn would. She goes. In her chamber she finds the Hound. He says he's going—maybe north. He offers to take her to Winterfell—keep her safe. She says she'll be safe where she will. He tells her all men are killers but she declares he won't hurt her. He leaves.
Tyrion leads the men out the secret gate. Battle battle battle. They all yell “Halfman!” Then a new army arrives. Chaotic battle battle. Mandon Moore (a King's Guard) strikes Tyrion in the face with a sword so Pod kills Ser Mandon.
Cersei and Tommen sit on the Iron Throne and she tells him a story about a Lion cub. The story is overlaid with battle battle guy on a white horse, Pod helping Tyrion, the White Horse army attacking. Cersei is opening the vial of Essense of Nightshade as she tells it. She offers the vial to Tommen and he raises it to his mouth as Loras bursts in. She stops his hand when Loras announces they've beaten Stannis. Tywin comes in and Cersei lets out a sob of relief.
Notable Quotes
Cersei: The gods have no mercy. That's why they're gods.
The Hound: Fuck the King's Guard. Fuck the City. Fuck the King. (and a movement is born)
Tyrion: Don't fight for your king. And don't fight for his kingdoms. Don't fight for honor. Don't fight for glory. Don't fight for riches because you won't get any. This is your city Stannis means to sack. It is your gate he's ramming. If he gets in it will be your houses he burns. Your gold he steals and your women he will rape. Those are brave men knocking at our door. Let's go kill them.
Review
I know TONS of people just love this episode. And I LIKE it. But I am not the giant battle fan nearly as much as I care about the quieter moments and relationships. A lot of people die, but no one I care about. The moments of bravery from Tyrion, the fierceness of Shae, the courage of Sansa, the fear of the Hound... these are the things I really like about this episode. I mean sure, the big fire was cool, and I felt Davos' fear in particular there, as he realized what it was and lost his son. But this part of the book is more compelling as Davos is sucked down into the river and desperately tries to swim under all the wreckage and get through Tyrion's bloody chain. It would have been super hard to film. I get why they didn't. Who knows if Liam Cunningham can hold his breath for five minutes (Jason Momoa can for more than three, but I digress...)
ALSO missing that is in the book is some of the detail between Sansa and The Hound... Sansa will later misremember this scene and believe the Hound kissed her. In reality he asked for (and got) a song from her and left her with his King's Guard cloak (which she dyes and keeps with her—a sort of safety blanket). I strongly recommend Radio Westeros's YouTube video on Sandor Clegane to hear how rich all this story development is for both the Hound and Sansa (and both of their definition of a true knight)
Overall I like the episode. I just don't love it above most of the others like some people do, perhaps because of the missing bits.
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