Arya takes a whiz, then Jaqen requests a glass of water from his cage. Rorge gets rude and Arya hits him with a stick. As Gendry scolds Arya for getting two close, a group of Gold Cloaks arrive. Arya thinks they are there for her, but they ask for Gendry. Yoren threatens one and sends them off, but as they leave, they say they will come for Yoren's head as well as Gendry.
Tyrion finds Varys with Shae and Tyrion and Varys talk cryptically. Varys says he keeps secrets for his friends but Tyrion takes it for a threat.
Cersei tears Robb's peace terms in half. She asks after Jaime and says to tell him he hasn't been forgotten. Pycelle has a raven from Castle Black. Wildlings are following this new King Beyond the Wall. Mormont tells of dead rising, and while the others mock, Tyrion believes.
Edd tells a story of his mother farting while dying. Sam thinks it is greedy for Craster to have so many wives and Grenn tells a story of a milkmaid from the farm next to his. When Sam is fetching potatoes he finds Gilly, terrified of Ghost and convinces Ghost to back away. Gilly tells Sam he's brave, then takes her to Jon to try to convince him to take her when they go.
Dany sits in the Red Waste waiting for word. A riderless horse returns with Rhakaro's head in the saddlebag. Irri sobs because it means he cannot ride into the nightlands.
Theon rides on a ship toward Pyke, having his way with the Captain's daughter. He expects a grand welcome when he arrives because he's hot sh*t, at least in his own mind. The Captain's daughter begs to be his salt wife, so apparently he's fooled someone.
Littlefinger peeps on his whores. One of the Johns is mad because his whore (Roz) is crying. Littlefinger gives the man a different whore and has a heart to heart with Roz where it becomes very clear the man is a soulless ass. It's all about the money.
Tyrion serves Lord Janos dinner, a jovial affair. They discuss wine, food, cooks.. and then Tyrion asks about the brothel and the baby. Janos makes it clear it isn't his place to ask questions. He just obeys. He shows loyalty to Cersei and Joffrey. Tyrion asks who ordered Ned's men killed and Janos said Ned “tried to buy him” to which Tyrion replies, “Little did he know you'd already been bought”. Tyrion then tells Janos he is headed to the wall and he makes Bronn new Captain of the City watch. It is all very well done.
Lommy wants to give up Gendry and suggests they yield. There is then a deep discussion about battles, armor and knights which makes it very clear Hot Pie doesn't know very much. Arya asks what the gold cloaks wanted with Gendry but he doesn't know. He asks why she thought it was her and she confesses who she is, leading to one of my very favorite scenes with her pushing him, him saying it wasn't ladylike and then her pushing him over.
Nobody is there to greet Theon. Nobody is impressed with his bragging, but finally a girl comes along and offers a ride. He feels her up along the way. He goes in to his father who is the world's biggest ass. He calls Theon a girl and asks if his jewels were bought by the iron price or gold. Theon had forgotten what a prick his father is, but he claims to be heir and Yara comes in... the girl he was feeling up ishis sister. West coast of Westeros seems to have a lot of that. Theon offers Robb's terms claiming it was his idea, but Balon isn't interested in the GIFT of a crown. He says he will TAKE his crown. And not from the Lannisters.
Davos is enlisting Sallador Saan. Sallador wants the queen. Matthos talks about the Lord of Light and Sallador shows surprise Davos' son is a zealot. Eventually Sallador agrees to help, but because he trusts Davos. Matthos tries to convince Davos to learn to read and they discuss religion.
Cersei is mad at Tyrion about Janos. Tyrion tries to explain that she is losing the people, but she doesn't care. She thinks the people are worthless. He mentions the rallying cry of “Queen slaughters babies” and figures out that it was actually Joffrey who ordered the slaughter. Cersei rips into Tyrion about all the burden of ruling falling on her, then makes a cruel statement about Tyrion ripping their mother apart when he was born.
Davos tells Stannis they have Sallador Saan, then Stannis asks Davos and Matthos to leave him alone with the red woman. As Matthos leaves she whispers to him that death by fire is the purest death. Melisandre and Stannis discuss Renly's larger army, which Stannis needs to take King's Landing. She tells him he must give himself over to the Lord of Light, which apparently means having sex with one of his priestesses.
Jon sees Craster carrying his baby away and follows. Craster leaves it and Jon watches as a White Walker comes for it. As he turns to leave he is knocked out.
Places and Faces
Pyke (and the Greyjoy Castle) along with Yara (Asha in the books) and Balon.
At Craster's Gilly is actually introduced, though she had a line in the first episode of the season.
Notable Quotes (not many this time...)
Sallador Saan: What is the world coming to when smugglers must vouch for kings?
Matthos: Stannis may be king, but he's only a man.
Davos: Don't tell him that.
Cersei: Mother's gone for the sake of you.
This episode was still a bit slow other than it begins to show us Theon's brilliance at “The Game” and it gives us excellent insight into Theon's character. Those were probably the high points to me—that and Arya revealing her secret to Gendry.
Funny line from the books that would fit here... Lommy goes on and on about the wisdom of yielding when traveling with Gendry, Hot Pie, Arya (and a little girl called Weasel) and Arya is sick of it. Lommy was wounded in the battle that killed Yoren, but the other's are carrying him. Gendry gets captured by Amory Lorch's men and Arya comes back to get Hot Pie to rescue him. Lommy is to keep Weasel there and he asks what to do if the wolves come. “Yield,” Arya said. I cracked up so hard when I read that.
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