The Rewatch Project: Season 5, Episode 1: The Wars to Come

Recap

Young Cersei and her friend Malara traipse through the woods to the house of a woods witch. They wake the woman and Cersei rudely lets her know she is not nearly as impressive as she's heard, then demands the woman tell their future. The witch gives her a knife and says she needs to taste her blood so Cersei slices her thumb and the woman sucks it, then says Cersei can ask three questions. Cersei asks when she will marry the prince. The witch says she will marry the queen. Cersei confirms she will be queen, and the witch confirms, but finishes that it will be until one younger and more beautiful replaces her and takes all she holds dear. And finally Cersei asks about children. The king will have twenty and Cersei three. Gold will be their crowns and gold their shrouds. Meaning they will die before Cersei.

Adult Cersei rides in a litter to the sept. She demands to go in alone and finds Jaime standing watch over Tywin's body. Jaime says the vague “they” will try to tear them apart now, but Cersei puts the blame solidly on Jaime for letting Tyrion go. She kisses Tywin's head and leaves again.

Tyrion peeks out a hole in his crate as Varys pries it open. Tyrion dives for the wine and feels sorry for himself. They are at the home of Illario Mopatis (where Dany and Viserys lived for a time). Varys gives a pretty darned good sales pitch for at least meeting Danaerys.

The slaves and Unsullied pull down the harpy in Meereen, then an Unsullied goes to a whore for a snuggle. Unfortunately, as they settle in, she slits his throat. He looks up to see the Harpy's mask. When Dany learns she insists he will have a burial in the Temple of the Graces. This will piss off the Sons of the Harpy, but she says that is good. Angry snakes stick their necks out, which makes it easier to chop off their heads. Missendei then finds Grey Worm, trying to understand why Unsullied would seek prostitutes.

Jon trains Ollie at Castle Black. Gilly asks if Sam should be training, then they fret about Ser Alliser's views of wildlings. If Ser Alliser is made Lord Commander, Gilly won't be allowed to stay. Sam says where she goes, he goes. Melisandre comes to Jon and says the King wants to see him, then she rides the lift with him, asking awkwardly if he is a virgin.

Jon kneels before Stannis. Stannis asks if Jon knows who rules at Winterfell and asks if he doesn't want to root the Boltons out. Jon says he wants a great many things, but he is a sworn brother of the Night's Watch. Davos says some of the brothers feel Jon has too much affinity for the Wildlings. Jon says they are not monsters. Stannis shares his plans and says he needs men. At first Jon misunderstands and says the Night's Watch don't take sides, but Stannis means the wildlings—he will forgive them and give them land if they fight for him. He asks Jon to make the case to Mance.

Sansa, Littlefinger and Lord Royce watch Robin pathetically sparring and discuss his lack of skill, but at least he has an important name. They leave Sweetrobin with Lord Royce to tour the Vale, supposedly to go to The Fingers, though Sansa notes they are going West. He says they are going somewhere Cersei cannot get her hands on Sansa.

Loras Tyrell gives words of comfort to Cersei. She thanks him and blows him off. Lancel shows up, head shaved and in monks robes. Kevan explains that he is a sparrow—a group of religious zealots. Lancel finds Cersei and apologizes to her for leading her to temptation. He also mentions the incident with Robert and his wine. He has found peace in the Light of the Seven and tells her she can too.

Olivar the whore outlines Loras's birthmark, noting it is shaped like Dorne. Margaery burst in, scolding Loras for his lateness. When Olivar leaves she tells Loras he should be more discreet. They discuss Cersei. Margaery sounds like she has a plan.

Tyrion and Varys make jibes, Tyrion still feeling sorry for himself. He asks why Varys freed him. It was for the Seven Kingdoms. Tyrion says he's done with them but Varys points out his skills. He gives his pitch for Danaerys.

Hizdar and Daario return to Meereen and give a positive report. It sounds good, but the Masters want some concessions. They would like to re-open the fighting pits. Dany says no. In bed later Daario says she should open them. He made his way in the world starting in the fighting pits. He also suggests she needs to use her dragons. A dragon queen with no dragons is not a queen. She goes to see them but they're pissed at her.

Jon goes to Mance to tell him what Stannis wants, but Mance already knows. Jon tries to present the importance of saving all his people but Mance ends it with one of the best lines ever: The freedom to make my owns mistakes is all I ever wanted.

Surprise ending...

Mance is walked out to the pyre, tied to a stake and Melisandre gives her pedantic zealot speech then lights him afire. Everyone watches as Mance gets uncomfortable, then the flames reach him. He manages not to scream. Jon leaves, Gilly hides her face and Selyse has an orgasm. Then Jon shoots an arrow into Mance's heard from a walkway.


Discussion

Of course when Cersei asks when she will marry the prince, she is referring to Rhaegar, and when the woods witch says she will marry the King, she thinks that is still who it refers to. And the younger more beautiful queen who will take it all from her? Of course this informs so much about how Cersei behaves first toward Sansa, then Margaery. Finally, I'm disappointed the prophecy didn't mention the Valonqar from the books. The last line in the book is: And when your tears have drowned you, the valonqar shall wrap his hands about your pale white throat and choke the life from you. Powerful stuff. A valonqar, in old Valyrian means “little brother” (both Jaime and Tyrion are younger than Cersei) but it says THE valonqar, not YOUR valonqar, so it may not even be HER little brother. It may be the little brother of anyone she has harmed (the little brother of that queen?) and because High Valyrian is gender bendy, it may not even be a male, but any younger sibling (my money is on Arya).

I am so not a fan of pouty Tyrion. I like Varys here, but Tyrion is hard to watch until later in the season.

Also not thrilled with it being Stannis who wants the Wildlings to come through the wall. Jon makes that decision in the books—he asks for one of ten men to stay and serve at the wall, desperately trying to replenish the men at the Wall. It is a huge part of the reason for what happens at the end of the season.

On watching this episode again, there are only a few things HERE that bug me. Mel's come on to Jon, Tyrion the pathetic depressed imp, Loras so glibly having his fling with Olivar (Loras of the books truly loved Renly. He wasn't some randy slut). But what actually bugs me is stuff they skipped or changed.

The Rewatch Project: Season 4, Episode 10: The Children

Recap

Jon heads north through the wildling dead. He marches into Mance's camp with his arms up. Mance comments on his black cloak and Jon says he's there to negotiate. Mance expresses unhappiness with Jon's lack of loyalty, but Jon says he was always loyal to the Night's Watch. They discuss Ygritte and drink to her, then toast Mag the Mighty and Grenn.

Mance says he's sent 400 men to climb the wall. They don't want to conquer. They just want to get on the other side of the wall. He says if they let him through, no one else will die. Otherwise all of them will. They hear a commotion and Mance wonders if Jon has tricked him, but it is not Jon's men. It's Stannis's army.

Davos introduces Stannis who says it's customary to kneel, but Mance says north of the wall they do not do that.

Qyburn, Pycelle and Cersei look over the Mountain, Pycelle insisting there is nothing else to do but milk of the poppy to make passing more comfortable. Qyburn insists he can. Cersei sends Pycelle away and asks if Qyburn can save the Mountain. He says there is a chance and she promises him anything he needs.

Cersei comes to Tywin about her betrothal. She insists she will stay at King's Landing with her son. She reminds him the lengths she will go to when her son is in danger and threatens that she will burn their house to the ground before leaving Tommen. She says she will tell the truth about her and Jaime. Tywin won't believe it is true at first. His legacy is a lie. She then goes to Jaime and tells him what she did.

Missendei strings out Danaerys's title, then a former slave, a tutor, tells his story and asks if he can sell himself back to his former master. Dany tries to argue, but he has a point, so she allows him to make a contract of not more than one year. A shepherd comes in then, unable to speak the common tongue but tells the story of the thing coming from the sky—the black one... and lays down the burned bones of his daughter. Drogon has not been seen, but Dany takes Rhaegal and Viserion and locks them in the catacombs. Neither is happy.

Aemon says a memorial and they burn the dead Night's Watch brothers. And now their watch is ended. Melissandre spots Jon through the flames.

Jon goes to see Tormund. He asks if Tromund wants to say any words for the wildling dead, but Tormund says the dead won't hear. He asks if Jon loved Ygritte and says she loved him—Tormund knows because she kept talking about killing him. He then says she belongs north of the wall, so Jon takes her body north and builds a pyre by the weirwood.

Hodor pulls Brann and they finally spot the tree. Jojen is having trouble but they've nearly made it. As they climb the hill, the dead start breaking through the snow and grabbing at them. They have to fight. Brann finally wargs into Hodor to give them extra fighting power. It's going well until a white heads for Brann—Summer saves him, but the distraction allows a white to stab Jojen. Then a child comes out with fireballs to help. Jojen insists Meera go with Brann so she kills him first then runs. The child throws fire at Jojen so he won't become a white. The rest of them get into the tree where the whites can't come. The child leads Brann to the three-eyed raven. He tells them Jojen always knew his fate. He has been watching all of them all their lives. He tells Brann he will not walk again, but he will fly.

Brienne scolds Pod as the horses have disappeared. In searching Brienne comes upon Arya practicing her water dancing. Arya warns the Hound (who is off screen) that people are coming. Brienne greets Arya. They discuss swords and who taught them to fight.

It's all good until the Hound comes and Pod recognizes him. Brienne tells Arya she swore to her mother to keep her safe. Arya is skeptical and The Hound says there is nowhere safe. The Hound and Brienne have a proper battle. It ends with the Hound thrown over an embankment, but Arya has disappeared. Arya stays hidden until they go, then finds the Hound. He wants her to kill him, but instead she steals his gold and leaves.

Jaime comes for Tyrion. A galley is waiting in the bay for him. Jaime gives instructions and the two hug good-bye. Instead of going directly, however, Tyrion climbs to the Tower of the Hand. He finds Shae in Tywin's bed. Shae calls him “my Lion” before turning to see that it is Tyrion and not Tywin. She grabs a knife. The two fight, and he ends up strangling her with her necklace.

Tyrion apologizes to her, then finds a cross bow and goes to find his father. Tywin is sitting on the privy. Tywin asks who released him. He wants to talk his his room but Tyrion says he can't because he killed Shae there. Tywin asks if he is afraid of a dead whore, to which Tyrion gives a warning not to use the word whore again. When he does, Tyrion puts a bolt into Tywin, who is shocked. He gets mad and says “You are no son of mine” and Tyrion shoots him again.

Varys puts Tyrion in a box for the ship ride, then the bells begin ringing and Varys decided he needs to go, too.

Arya rides to the sea seeking a ship to Eastwatch, the Night's Watch castle on the east shore. The captain she finds is not going north—he tells her there is war north. That he is going home to Bravos. At that point she pulls out her coin from Jaqen and says, “Valar Morghulis.” “Valar Dhohiris,” the captain says back and says Arya will have a cabin. The last shot is of Arya on the prow looking as they cross the sea.

Review

This is another fantastic episode. I really love season 4. When you can say Stannis routing the wildlings is the weakest bit, you know it is great stuff. There was true heartbreak (Dany locking up her dragons after seeing that toddler's bones), there was twisted triumph (Cersei confessing to Tywin) and true triumph (Tyrion killing his father). And Arya headed to Bravos. Bran getting to the tree was hard to watch, but we've been waiting for this for ages.

The Rewatch Project: Season 4, Episode 9: The Watchers on the Wall

Recap

Sam and Jon head for watch atop the wall discussing Ygritte. Sam gets technical about what the Night's Watch vows mean, then he makes it clear Jon is no poet on his description of sex. Jon sends Sam to get some sleep.

An owl that is warged watches and brings a message to the wildlings and Torman tells his tale about his bear. Ygritte loses her temper and wants to think only of her arrows. The Thenn leader accuses Ygritte of letting Jon go, but she forbids anyone else from touching him, as Jon is hers to kill.

Sam and Aemon discuss wildlings. Aemon insists Sam loves Gilly. He tells Sam a story of a girl he loved, then sends Sam to bed.

Gilly arrives at the wall and Sam insists they let her in. He tells her from now on, wherever she goes, he will go. Two horns sound.

The warg says it's time and the wildlings south of the wall set out. At Castle Black the men prepare, Jon atop the wall sees the fire Mance had said was the sign. Alliser says Jon can say it. They should have sealed the tunnel.

Sam settles Gilly into a store cellar. She argues with him about leaving her, but he insists a man of the Night's Watch has to do his duty and he kisses her. He then promises he won't die.

Pip and Sam prepare to defend. Pip frets, but Sam talks him down.

Ygritte watches and reports back to the wildlings on numbers on the south side of the wall. The wildlings attack from both sides. Janos comes to the top of the wall insisting Alliser is needed below. Alliser leaves Janos in charge but Janos is a panicky, worthless leader, so Grenn tells him he is needed below and Jon takes command.

Pip frets about dying. Wildlings clime the walls. Alliser gives a good speech. The wildlings breech the southern wall and battle breaks out. On the other side, climbers start up the wall.

Battle rages. Janos panics and hides himself in the same cellar Gilly is in. Pip gets an arrow in the neck and Sam holds him as he dies.

A giant and mammoth begin pulling at the gate at the base of the wall. Jon sends Grenn and five recruits to hold the inner gate. He then calls for oil at the top of the wall.

Sam goes down to join the fighting and by fluke kills a Thenn. He asked Grenn for more men, but Grenn is on his mission and tells Sam he needs to go up and ask Jon.

At the top of the wall they drop burning oil. The mammoth below understandably panics and as he runs away, one of the giants gets hit in the back in what must be exactly the right spot and falls. The other giant howls with rage and begins to heave up the gate on his own.

Sam tells Jon Ser Alliser has fallen and he is needed below. Jon leaves Edd in charge.

Grenn and his men hold the gate, taking inspiration from the Night's Watch vows.

Jon sends Sam for Ghost and then roles into supreme fighting mode. He has a lengthy battle with the lead Then, then staggers to stand in front of Ygritte. He is unarmed and she aims at him but can't seem to shoot, then an arrow comes out her chest. Freaking Ollie. She dies in Jon's arms.

To the north side of the wall the climb up the wall continues. Edd calls for the scythe to be dropped and they are all knocked down, one short an arm. The wildlings retreat for the night.

Tormund is captured. Sam and Gilly reunite

Jon intends to find Mance to kill Mance. It's a bad plan, but there's no better one. On the way through the wall, Sam and Jon find Grenn and his men, along with the dead giant—they held the wall.

Jon leaves Sam with Longclaw and heads out north.


Review

The episode is strong, but it is all action. I realize I am probably in the minority on this, but I like a bit more pacing variety in episodes. Ygritte dying was beautiful and emotional. And Sam promising Gilly he's live was great. And Janos hiding with Gilly was it's own kind of great (funny, since Janos is so pathetic). There were feels related to both Pip and Grenn. I just like an episode that is not all one thing a bit better. Don't get me wrong. I gave it 92 out of 100—this is not BAD at all. Just not as strong as the last two, in my opinion.

The Rewatch Project: Season 4, Episode 8: The Mountain and the Viper

Recap

Men dig for treasure in Mole's Town. One of the whores harasses Gilly about her baby waking her. Gilly hears a signal and gives warning but the woman doesn't believe her. The village is attacked by wildlings. Nearly everyone is killed outright, though Ygritte finds Gilly and her baby hiding and just motions them to keep quiet.

Sam frets over the attack. The brothers argue over not being allowed to leave the castle to defend the area, but they are too few to lessen the number and still be able to put up a fight at the castle. Jon notes if they've hit Mole's Town, Castle Black is next. They talk numbers and Edd asks if the last of them alive will burn the others.

The Unsullied wash and bathe in a stream. Grey Worm sees Missendei and gazes at her admiringly. She and Dany discuss it, wondering what interest Unsullied would have with women. Grey Worm comes to Missendei later to apologize. He tells her her lessons in the common tongue are precious to him. She says she is sorry he was cut, but he is philosophical. He says had he not been he would never have been bought by Danaerys or met Missendei. She says she is glad he saw her.

Ramsay prepares Theon to take Moat Cailin. Theon goes in and tells them if they leave they will be allowed safe passage to the stony shore. They are sick and dying, but the Captain spurns him. In response one of his men kills him “to go home safely”. Of course Ramsay lied about that and they are all flayed...

Littlefinger is questioned by the Lords of the Vale who finally bring up a witness. The girl. “Alaine” comes out and admits she is Sansa Stark, noting she had met Lord Royce when he came north taking his son to the wall. She then admits Littlefinger told many lies—all to protect her. She weaves her tale of being saved and Lysa's jealousy that ends in suicide. They believe her. Littlefinger looks impressed.

Littlefinger then tells what he thinks should be done with Robin—taking him out to survey his lands and meet the Lords of the Vale. It is time for him to grow up.

A boy brings Ser Barristan a letter—a copy of Jorah's pardon. Barristan confronts Jorah, then Jorah comes before the queen. Dany is furious. He wants to talk alone, but she refuses and she banishes him.

Ramsay presents the flag of Moat Cailin to Roose. Roose points out the north and they discuss Locke and the Stark boys, then Roose presents Ramsay with a decree legitimizing him. Ramsay promises to be worthy and they ride for Winterfell.

Littlefinger asks Sansa why she backed him up. She says at least she knows what he wants.

Arya thought Joffrey's death would make her happy. The Hound thought poison was lame, but Arya says she would kill with anything. They reach the Bloody Gate and learns Lysa is dead. Arya laughs hysterically.

Robin is afraid to leave the Vale. Littlefinger gives a string of ways people die right in their homes. He tells him to take charge of his life. Sansa comes down the stairs with a die job and a dramatic dress.

Tyrion and Jaime discuss the Gods and their cousin Orson. Tyrion is brought out for the trial by combat. Oberyn kisses Ellaria and drinks wine. Ellaria is alarmed when she sees the Mountain. Pycelle gives a droning intro until a horn blows. Oberyn comes out with a spear. The Mountain stands with a sword. Oberyn tells who he is and why he intends to kill the Mountain, but first he wants to hear a confession and who gave the order. He keeps yelling “You raped her, you murdered her, you killed her children” as he dances around tiring the Mountain. The Mountain throws him around a bit breaks his spear but he gets another. Then Oberyn manages to hamstring the Mountain and stabs a spear through his middle, still demanding the confession. He looks up at the audience as he talks and the Mountain knocks his feet out from under him, then breaks his teeth, confesses, and crushes Oberyn's skull. Tywin sentences Tyrion to death.

RIP Oberyn, you sexy beast

Review

I love this episode. In fact thus far it barely behind episode 1.9 for the best episode of all. The are two in season 6 that might pass it, but seriously, I bet it is in my top 5 ever. There is everything to love. Or maybe it is that the normal stuff was normal (raid on Mole's town was probably the worst scene, but it wasn't bad and it had the feature I liked of Ygritte letting Gilly go). The Orson/beetle bit was weird, but I liked the rest of that—I always like Tyrion and Jaime. The Castle Black scene is made awesome by Edd. Loved Arya. But the two homeruns are Sansa selling her story to the Lords of the Vale and EVERYTHING about Oberyn. That fight scene had excellent subtle details, too—Jaime and Cersei and their opposite responses at each turn in the fight was brilliant—sort of an opposites mirror going on.

The Rewatch Project: Season 4, Episode 7: Mockingbird

Recap

Tyrion and Jaime bicker about Tyrion's outburst and demand for a trial by combat. Tyrion points out that the deal would have given Tywin everything he wanted and it felt good to take it from him. Jaime says he can't save Tyrion—he can't fight with his left hand. Tyrion asks for Bronn, then he asks who fights for the crown.

The scene cuts to the Mountain cutting down men.

Arya and the Hound find a burned village and a dying man. They wax philosophical and finally the Hound mercy kills him, showing Arya where the heart is. They are attacked by Rorge and Biter, the Biter biting the Hound before being killed. Arya told the Hound who the men were and what they threatened. He asks if he is on Arya's list, but she doesn't know his name. The Hound asks his name and when she hears Rorge, she stabs him through the heart.

A horn blows at the wall. Jon's group has returned from Craster's. Jon gives a report, warning them to prepare for the wildlings. He says they should fill the tunnels with rocks and then water and freeze them shut. Ser Alliser shames Jon, reminding him he's a steward and asking the Master Builder what he recommends. They leave it as is. #decisionsthatcomebacktobite

Bronn comes to Tyrion's cell dressed in in new clothes. He's getting married. They discuss the price to fight fr Tyrion and basically there is not enough money in the world. Bronn is set comfortably and doesn't want to die. They part as friends.

Daario is in Dany's chamber—he came through the window and offers her flowers. She scolds him and he begs leave to go fight for her—he is wasted in the city. She reminds him of his oath and then tells him to undress.

Selyse comes in while Melisandre is bathing. Mel asks for a vial to put something in her bath. She makes a bad joke which leads to compliments that Selyse wants the truth. Selyse warns that Stannis wants to bring Shireen with them and she thinks it's a bad idea, but Melisandre says the princess must come.

Daario leaves Dany's quarters early, running into Jorah who then tells Dany she can't trust Daario. Dany says she sent Daario to retake Yunkai, executing all the masters. Jorah points out that treating the masters like slaves or worse is just as bad. She needs to show them another way. He points out that he wouldn't be there to help Dany if Ned Stark had done what Dany has planned. She changes strategy, telling Jorah to send Hizdhar with Jorah to present the options. Change or die.

The Hound's wound is festering but he won't allow burning the infection away. He freaks and says he regrets ever laying eyes on Arya as she has put a price on his head. He then tells her the story of being burned. She offers to wash and sew his wound.

Brienne and Pod share a meat pie served by Hot Pie. Hot Pie sits down with them, sharing the secret of a good pie (it's the gravy). He notes Brienne's armor and asks if she's a knight. Brienne asks if he's seen Sansa and describes her. Hot Pie freaks and starts to leave but Brienne says she swore to the Stark girl's mother to deliver them safely home. Outside Pod suggests she should be more discreet but Hot Pie comes out and tells them that he saw Arya with the Brotherhood. And the Hound.

They debate where Arya would go. Pot knows Lysa Arron is Arya's last living relative with the means to pay a ransom.

Oberyn comes to see Tyrion in my more favorite scene ever. Oberyn tells Tyrion of meeting him before, of being gravely disappointed. Of hearing of the monster and then being presented with just a baby. Oberyn wants justice. “I will be your champion.”

Sansa finds it snowing and is filled with hope. She builds a snow Winterfell. Robin comes out and freaks that there is no moon door. When he tries to put one in he knocks over a tower and Sansa yells at him for ruining it, which causes him to kick down the rest. Sansa slaps him. Petyr comes out and they discuss home and why Petyr killed Joffrey. He kisses her and Lysa is watching.

Lysa calls Sansa to her and tries to push her through the moon door. Petyr stops her as Lysa has her fit. He tells her he will send Sansa away and he goes to Lysa explaining he has only ever loved one woman. He says, “Your sister” as he shoves her through the moon door.

Review

This is one of my favorite episodes. I like the change in Arya and the Hound's relationship. I liked Brienne getting a bit of Stark news. I loved Sansa in the snow--it was the first time she has felt hopeful since her hopes of marrying Loras were crushed, but more importantly, we can actually see her remembering she is a Stark. It's been way too long. I even liked watching Lysa pushed through the moon door. It was strangely satisfying. But NOTHING lives up to Oberyn's story and telling Tyrion he will be his champion. That is truly one of my very favorite scenes. Maybe my actual favorite scene. The Mel and Selyse scene is slightly awkward--gratuitous nudity. But I do like the drop of fear added because we all know why Melisandre is insisting the princess come with them--she has king's blood. Overall the episode only had two scenes I'd rank medium and the rest were really good--that is a high ratio.

The Rewatch Project: Season 4, Episode 6: First of His Name

Recap

Davos and Stannis visit the Iron Bank of Bravos. They are kept waiting and the beginning doesn't go well, but in the end Davos convinces them Stannis is the man to bet on for paying them back as King of Westeros. Davos finds Salidor Saan at a brothel and gives him money for his assistance with Stannis.

Yara leads a troop of me for a rescue of Theon as Ramsay and Miranda have a romp. The Iron Born arrive and use grappling hooks to storm the Dreadfort. They find Theon in the kennels but Theon is too far gone—confused and sure it is a trick of Ramsay's. As Yara tries to drag Theon out, Ramsay and some men arrive for a fight, then Yara and her men flee as Ramsay releases the hounds.

Ramsay gives Reek a reward—a bath. Ramsay helps, kindly, which is more terrifying than torture, then Ramsay tells Reek he needs his help, but he will need to play a role—pretend to be Theon Greyjoy.

A goat herder and his flock are accosted by a dragon and several goats are burned. Dany holds court and she promises to pay the herder three times their worth. Hizdhar then comes telling of his old proud family. Turns out his father was one of the slavers crucified. He asks to bury his father. Dany defends her actions, then allows him to bury his father.

Oberyn complains of the early hour for the small council meeting. Tywin begins. They determine a price on the Hound's head—one hundred silver stags. Varys gives a report on Danaerys. Cersei dismisses every detail about her. Tywin says she must be dealt with and has Mace Tyrell fetch quill and paper.

Oberyn and Varys speak in front of the Iron Throne. They speak of Oberyn's travels and Oberyn asks Varys about his story, sexuality and ambition.

Jaime visits Tyrion. It's time for the trial. Tyrion is led in and chained. Tommen recuses himself. Tywin asks if Tyrion killed Joffrey. He says no. Tywin asks if Sansa did. Tyrion says not that he knows of. Ser Meryn tells of Tyrion's threats and namecalling of Joffrey. Pycelle tells of the poisons stolen from his stores and the poison used to kill Joffrey, traces of which were found in the necklace Sansa wore at the wedding. Cersei testifies about Tyrion threatening that her joy would turn to ashes in her mouth, and then Varys tells of the threat Tyrion made at the small council meeting. Tywin calls for a recess.

Jaime confronts Tywin about the farce they are putting on, then offers to take up his role as heir if Tyrion can live. They reach an agreement. Jaime tells Tyrion the plan and the trial resumes.

Shae is called as a witness and gives a terrible spin to everything that happened between them, then lies and says Tyrion and Sansa plotted Joffrey's murder together. Tyrion says he wishes to confess, then gives a brilliant speech about wishing he'd killed Joffrey and wishing he'd let Stannis sack King's Landing. He then says he'll get no justice there and demands a trial by combat.



Review

I really like this episode. Dany's position and the weight of dragons in society weigh heavily. Oberyn's charm is on display when he questions Cersei about Tyrion's threat. And Tyrion's speech at this farce of a trial is one of my favorite scenes of the series. I even liked Tywin playing Jaime so skillfully. The only read detractor was the travesty that never should have happened. Yara's rescue attempt was just stupid. They all had weapons—running when the dog cage is opened? Yeahno. I guess it was so Ramsay would have something to reward Reek over, but that scene really is terrible. So one of the best scenes and one of the worst. I suppose at least they ended on a high note.

The Rewatch Project: Season 4, Episode 5: First of His Name

Recap

Tommen is crowned by the High Septon. People come to bow for him and he makes eyes at Margaery, then Cersei steps between them. She and Margaery discuss Joffrey, Tommen and marriage.

Jorah tells Dany Joffrey's dead and they've taken the Meereenese Navy. They discuss if it's enough to take King's Landing. Barristan feels the time is right, but Jorah reminds her they need to take all of Westeros, not just King's Landing. They argue about what support she will have, but then Jorah tells her in Yunkai, the wise master's have retaken the city. And in Astapor a butcher has declared himself King. She asks all but Jorah to leave. He says Westeros has never been so vulnerable. She says she won't see those she's freed slide back into chains. She is going to stay and rule.

Petyr and Sansa arrive at the Vale. He tells her about the pass then introduces her at the gate as his niece Alayne. Sweetrobin is excited to see Petyr. Lysa greets Sansa sweetly. Lysa asks Robin to show Sansa to her chambers, then she mauls Petyr and insists they get married that night. She prattles on about the things she's done for him, including poisoning her husband and blaming the Lannisters. He tells her never to speak of it. He agrees to marry and she brings in the septon.

Cersei and Tywin discuss Tommen and Margaery's wedding. They talk about husbands and gold. Tywin admits the Lannister mines are done. They've been borrowing. He reinforces the importance of paying back the Iron Bank. Tywin refuses to discuss Tyrion's trial, so Cersei discusses the Lannister legacy.

Arya lists her names. The Hound tells her to shut up. It is her kill list and they discuss the Mountain. He tells her to get her list over with. She says one last name. The Hound.

Lysa brings food for Sansa and tells her of Cat's sweet tooth. Lysa wonders why Petyr cares so much for Sansa and freaks out, twisting Sansa's words, accusing her of letting Petyr do things to her body. She holds Sansa's hands painfully and Sansa finally convinces her nothing happened. Lysa then hugs her and says when she is widowed she will be free to marry Robin.

Brienne and Pod rid, Pod badly. Brienne keeps trying to put him off but he sticks with her.

Arya water dances. The Hound says that is no way to fight. She brags about her teacher Syrio Forrell but the Hound is not impressed by someone killed by Meryn Trant. He lets her try to stab him but his armor stops the blade and he hits her and takes her sword to prove a point.

Oberyn writes poetry in the gardens and Cersei comes to ask him to walk with her. They talk of daughters and gods and not being able to protect those they love. She shows him a boat and asks him to see it delivered to Myrcella.

Pod catches a rabbit on fire because he didn't know to skin it. He's never cooked. Brienne is fairly brutal to him as useless until he admits he killed a King's Guard who was trying to kill Tyrion. She asks for help with her armor.

Locke scouts Craster's Keep and finds Bran. Jojen tells Bran not to let anything stop him He talks of the great tree. He says this isn't the end. Locke reports back. Eleven men, mostly drunk. He tells them to steer clear of the hut he knows Bran is in, reporting it has hounds that aren't worth the danger. Karl come for Meera and is gross and suggestive. Jojen tells him if he lets her know, he can help, tell him about things that have not happened yet. “I saw you die tonight.” Then the shouting and fighting start. Locke comes to “rescue” Bran, cutting him to verify who he is. Bran wargs Hodor who breaks free and breaks Locke's neck. Hodor is distressed when Bran returns to himself, but Bran directs him to free the Reeds. Jojen convinces Bran not to call to Jon since he needs to go north. Jon finds Karl and fights him with the help of one of Craster's wives. Jon's crew lost four and killed ten. Rast has disappeared. But Ghost found him. Jon and Ghost have a nice reunion. Craster's wives want to go on their own, but burn Craster's and all the dead.


Review

This was a strong episode. Dany, Lysa and Brienne bugged me a little, but Lysa is SUPPOSED to be nuts and Brienne came around. It is just her personality to be sort of crusty. I always love Arya and the Hound, and the fight at Craster's was satisfying, especially the emotional roller coaster with Bran's crew. And the negatives were much less negative than the last couple episodes have had, even if there were no great moments of awe. Overall it was solid.

The Rewatch Project: Season 4, Episode 4, Oathkeeper

Recap

Missendei teaches Greyworm the common tongue. They talk of their homelands, but Greyworm doesn't remember. Dany checks on lessons and retrieves Greyworm. It's time to arm the slaves. A group of Unsullied go in with weapons and tell them they need to free themselves. The slaves kill many masters and then flock to Dany shouting “Mhyssa! She asks how many slaves the masters nailed along the trail. Barristan urges mercy, but she declares she will give justice.

Bronn and Jaime spar, Bronn guilting Jaime about not going to see Tyrion in his dungeon cell. It works. Jaime and Tyrion discuss the trial. Jaime admits Cersei asked him to kill Tyrion and asks if Tyrion is guilty. Tyrion asks if Jaime would free him, but Jaime claims he can't.. Tyrion says he's innocent and Jaime naively claims the trial will show that so Tyrion points out all the ways the trial will not be fair.

Sansa and Petyr discuss travel plans. She asks if he killed Joffrey. They discuss who helped and he gives his philosophy of keeping his foes confused. He says he'd risk everything to get what he wants, which is everything.

Lady Olenna and Margaery stroll and discuss Olenna leaving. Olenna asks if Margaery had been to see Tommen, then tells a story of her own betrothal. She advises Margaery to win Tommen while Cersei is distracted . She as good as confesses to killing Joffrey.

Brothers spar at Castle Black and Jon trains recruits. Locke is brutal with his fellow recruit. Alliser scolds Jon and reminds him he is a steward. Janos points out Alliser isn't liked and a choosing is coming. He suggests allowing Jon to go to Crasters, suggesting he will get himself killed. Locke tries to ingratiate himself to Jon.

Cersei sends for Jaime to ask about Tommen's protection. She asks why Catelyn set Jaime free and then asks Jaime what he'd so if she sent him to bring back Sansa's head. She knows he went to see Tyrion. Jaime says Tyrion didn't do it. Cersei demands four King's Guard to watch Tommen at all times.

Tommen wakes to a secret visit from Margaery. He is startled at first, but she is sweet and a little sexy, telling him they should get to know each other. She then makes friends with Ser Pounce.

Brienne reads from the Book of Brothers. Jaime hands her a valyrian steel sword and tells her it is hers to find and protect Lady Stark's daughters. He also gives her a new suit of armor. Brienne promises to find Sansa. They both guess Arya is dead. He then gives her a final gift. Pod. As they leave Jaime asks what she will name the sword and she dubs it Oathkeeper.

Sam frets about Gilly. No one is to leave the Castle. They discuss Bran and where he'd go. Locke interrupts to tell him he is wanted. At a meeting Alliser says Jon can go deal with the mutineers, but only with volunteers. Jon asks for them and gets ten-ish, including Locke who says he will take his vows immediately so he can go.

Karl, Rast and the other mutineers eat, rape and gloat. Karl tells Rast to go feed the beast. Rast hesitates and Karl bullies him a bit, then a woman comes in with a baby and the women all start chanting “gift to the gods”. Karl thinks they mean kill it, but they clarify that it is offered, so he puts it in Rast's hands and tells him to take it out. Rast takes the baby out and leaves it, then taunts Ghost who growls. It gets suddenly cold and the water he has poured out freezes.

Bran's group hears the baby. Bran wants to go, so he wargs Summer and goes to investigate. Unfortanatly, as he sees Ghost in the cage, he gets caught in a trap. Bran wakes and tells them and they got to investigate, but are captured.

Hodor is taunted and poked at, the others questioned. Carl hits Bran and Jojen has a fit.

A White Walker takes the baby to a ring of stones in the center of a big lake and puts it on a platform. A group comes to stand in a circle and the Night's King comes to the middle, picks up the baby, and pokes his cheek. The baby's eyes turn blue.


Review

Stuff to love. Stuff not to love. Dany, Sansa and Castle Black were fine. Except the Sam/Gilly stuff--liked that less. I really was not a fan of the Craster's stuff, but I get the point in the storytelling. I really loved both Margaery scenes--with Olenna and Tommen. And my FAVORITE was Jaime sending Brienne off with sword, armor and Pod. So well done.

The Rewatch Project: Season 4, Episode 3: Breaker of Chains

Recap

Cersei has Tyrion taken and calls for them to grab Sansa but she's gone. Dontos leads Sansa to a cover and helps her into a rowboat, then rows her out to a ship hidden by fog, which somehow takes until it is dark outside.

Petyr pulls her onto the ship, then has a bolt shot through Ser Dontos. Sansa is shocked but Petyr explains how Dontos was only a pawn. He tells her his role in Joffrey's death.

Margaery asks if she's still queen. Lady Olenna talks of her own husband's death and how much better off Margaery will be with Tommen instead of Joffrey.

Cersei and Tommen stand over Joffrey's body. Tywin talks to Tommen of what makes a good king, especially listening to those who know more. He then explains that the king needs to marry. On their way out Jaime checks with Tommen, then asks the guards to leave. Cersei says it was Tyrion and asks Jaime to kill him. Jaime says they will get to the truth and then he basically rapes her.

The Hound and Arya are found by the landowner and Arya's tale gets them invited for supper and told they can sleep in the barn. They pray over stew, to the Hound's annoyance, then eat as if it is the first time in days. The man invites the Hound to stay on—protect the farm, fair work for fair wages. The Hound agrees, but then robs them in the morning. Arya is furious.

At the wall Ser Alliser is telling the crimes of the various men to Janos, then Janos asks Sam if he is going to see his whore. Sam frets to Gilly. The men don't believe Sam killed a whitewalker. Sam and Gilly pluck geese and Sam tells her he worries about her. He suggests she'd be safer in Mole's Town.

Stannis has Davos read that's Joffrey's dead. He credits the blood of the bastard Davos sent away. He says he needs him now. They discuss which houses they can count on and it's not enough. Davos suggests sellswords.

Davos comes to read with Shireen. As they discuss pirating and Bravos. Davos comes to the Iron Bank and an idea sparks. He asks Shireen to write a letter.

Sam and Gilly get to Mole's Town and make an agreement for Gilly to do laundry at the Whore House. Sam insists no other work.

Ellaria, Oberyn and the whores have a romp at Littlefinger's. Tywin interrupts. Oberyn expresses condolences about Joffrey. Tywin asks Oberyn about poisons and what Oberyn and Tyrion discussed. Tywin denies being involved in Elia's murder and offers Oberyn a chance to question the Mountain if he will sit on the judging trio over Tyrion's trial and sit on the small counsel.

Pod visits Tyrion's cell. He brought candle, quill, paper and snacks. Pod says there will be a trial in a fortnight and the judges are Tywin, Mace and Prince Oberyn. Pod is to get a list of witnesses. When Tyrion names Sansa he learns she has disappeared. Tyrion mentions Varys and learns he's been called for the prosecution. Bronn is under suspicion himself. Finally Pod agrees to find Jaime. Pod says a man approached him to get him to testify for the crown. He refused, so Tyrion tells him he has to leave King's Landing for his own safety. They have a touching parting.

Ollie's village is attacked by wildlings. Fucking Thenns. The main Then tells Ollie to go to Castle Black and tell them what he saw. At Castle Black they argue, go after the Wildlings or stay to defend the Wall. Grenn, Edd, and others get back from up north and tell them the mutineers hold Craster's. Jon says they have to go get them or the Wildlings to the north will know how few men man the Wall.

Dany reaches Meereen outside the wall. They send out a champion who does the Monty Python French Taunting in Valyrian. Dany allows Daario to be her champion. He throws a knife and kills the man. Then Dany speaks to the slaves telling them they need to take their own freedom. She then fires barrels of slave collars into the city with catapults. You can see the slaves processing that these came off freed men.


Review

I liked much of this episode, but the scene with Jaime raping Cersei really tarnishes it. The problem for me is not so much that it happens—it also happens in the book. But in the books the timing is really different and it makes much more sense. Here Jaime has been back for weeks and Cersei and he have interacted—he could have pressed her before this and so it messes with his redemption arc a lot. In the books it is the first time he has seen her in many months and there is a component of “too overjoyed to control himself” to her, and he has not yet had time to talk to Cersei to realize his feelings about her have changed. So his redemption arc keeps moving.

I'm also not a fan of Sam taking Gilly to Mole's Town or the Wildling attack on the village, and this Arya/Hound scene is less awesome than most.

On the other hand, there was some fabulosity, too. I liked Sansa's escape, the Davos scenes, and I liked the “French Taunting” from the Meereen champion, though am glad he also lost to Daario. I also really loved Tyrion's meeting with Pod.

The Rewatch Project: Season 4, Episode 2: The Lion and the Rose

Recap 

Ramsey and Miranda hunt Tansy with Reek hobbling along behind.

Tyrion and Jaime share a meal. Or rather Tyrion eats and Jaime mopes. He says he can't fight left handed. Tyrion says he needs a discreet sparring partner and he has just the one. Jaime and Bronn are then seen sparring, Bronn using dirty tricks to get across what a one-handed man might need to stay alive.

Roose arrives at Winterfell with his new bride. Ramsey and Locke bond over their mutual sadism. Ramsey brings Reek to Roose who is angry over the flaying. Theon admits to Roose he didn't kill the Stark boys, then as he is shaving Ramsey, learns Roose killed Robb. Because all the names have to start with R. Roose sends Locke to find the boys and suggests starting with Jon at Castle Black. He then sends Ramsey and Theon to take back Moat Cailin.

Varys warns Tyrion that Shae has been noticed.

Mace Tyrell gives Joffrey a wedding cup. Cersei points Shae out to Tywin. Tyrion gives Joffrey a book all kings should read. Joffrey is surprisingly gracious. Tywin gives Joffrey a Valyrian Steel sword. Joffrey uses it to cut the book, then asks for help from the crowd to name it. They settle on Widow's Wail.

Tyrion ends things with Shae—she is particularly obstinate so he has to be mean about it. He then sends her with Bronn to get on a ship.

Lady Melisadre burns Selyse's brother as a sacrifice. Selyse is giddy about it, swearing she sees their souls freed to the Lord of Light. Ser Davos criticizes but Stannis insists they were infidels. At dinner Selyse tells of the siege at Storm's End and Melisandre shares of her childhood hunger. Selyse frets over Shireen and wants to beat her, but Stannis says no. They compromise by sending Melisandre to talk to her. Shireen was upset about the burning of her uncle. They discuss religion. Mel claims the only hell is the one we are living in.

Summer hunts and then Hodor wakes Bram. Jojen warns of spending too much time in Summer's skin. They find a weirwood and Bran asks to go to it. He sees a string of visions including where they need to go.

Margaery walks the aisle, takes Joffrey's arm, then he cloaks her, the septon binds their wrists, and they kiss.

Outside at the giant reception party Lady Olenna and Tywin discuss extravagance and money. The camera pans it all. Bronn assures Tyrion Shae got on a ship. Olenna adjusts Sansa's necklace and gives sympathy about Robb's death. She invites Sansa to High Garden, then excuses herself. Musicians play. Joffrey throws coins. Margaery suggests it's time for the announcement, so Joffrey announces HER and she announces the leftover food will go to feed the poor.

Loras and Jaime discuss Loras's pending marriage to Cersei. Jaime warns him off of it. Cersei stops Brienne to thank her for returning Jaime, then calls her on being in love with him. Cersei then demands Pycelle make sure the extra food goes to the hounds, not the poor. Dontos juggles. Cersei and Tywin talk to Oberyn and Ellaria. Cersei comments on “Sands” but Oberyn gets the better of her, reminding her she should be glad Dorne is different from King's Landing and finds rape and the murder of children distasteful.

Joffrey calls for the Historical Reenactment of the War of Five Kings. As played by dwarfs. Through the performance most everybody is offended at some point. Sansa looks devastated. Even Margaery looks disgusted. Joffrey holds the purse but then suggests Tyrion spar with them. Tyrion makes a joke of it but Joffrey takes offense. He comes over and pours wine on Tyrions head. Tyrion says it is good—too bad it spilled. The interaction keeps escalating with Tyrion offering repeated chances for Joffrey to walk away with dignity, but Joffrey keeps upping the ante, finally forcing Tyrion to act as his cup bearer. Tyrion fills his goblet then Joffrey sets it aside and cuts the pie.

Doves fly out. A piece is brought for Joffrey and Margaery. Tyrion and Sansa try to leave but Joffrey insists they stay, then Joffrey drinks. And coughs. He is choking. Jaime and Cersei run for him. Ser Dontos tells Sansa it is time to leave. Joffrey points at Tyrion as he dies. Cersei calls to seize Tyrion.


Review

I loved all the wedding-related stuff of this episode. A lot. And most of the other stuff was fine, too. But there are two scenes in this episode that bug me quite a lot. I hated the Ramsey hunting Tansy bit. I would rather have heard that as a story, I think. I mean I get it. But it's hard to watch. And then I had Melisandre burning Axyl Florent. That one I am more convinced we needed to see, but I still didn't like it. Everything about the wedding though, was SO top notch that the couple things that bugged me don't take down my overall rating of the episode all that much.

Rewatch Project: Season 4 Episode 1: Two Swords

Recap

Tywin has Ice melted down to make two Valyrian Steele swords. He gives one to Jaime, then tells him it is time to go home. He will be relieved of the King's Guard. Jaime says no, so Tywin disowns him, but he lets him keep the sword.

Trion, Pod and Bronn await Prince Doran from Dorne. When the party arrives they are informed Prince Doran is too ill to travel and has send his brother Prince Oberon in his stead. Prince Oberon however, arrived before dawn. Tyrion and Bronn set out to look for him. They find him and his lover Ellaria in Littlefinger's brothel. They had been enjoying several prostitutes but a couple Lannister soldiers were extremely rude, and so when Tyrion arrives, Oberon is getting the best of them.

Tyrion takes Oberon for a private talk and asks honestly why Oberon is there. Oberon gives the brief version of his sister Elia, her children, and Prince Rhaegar who left her for another woman. He then tells of the Mountain raping and killing her and then killing the children and his belief that if the Mountain did the deed, Tywin gave the order. He tells Tyrion to tell his father the Lannisters aren't the only ones who pay their debts.

Dany scratches Drogon behind the ears then the dragons have a scuffle over a sheep that shows their ferocity (and danger). Jorah tells her they can never be tamed. She then checks on her army and finds Daario and Greyworm in a contest to see who gets to ride at her side. She says neither as they kept her waiting.

Sansa's not eating. Shae tries to convince her, then she and Tyrion talk. He tries to convince her her mother would want her to carry on, but she leaves for the Godswood. Tyrion finds Shae in his bed, but refuses her. Their exchange is overheard by the bitchy spymaid.

Qyburn checks Jaime's hand and fits the gold one then leaves. Jaime and Cersei discuss Qyburn, Pycelle and Cersei's drinking, then Jaime admits he was disowned. Jaime tries to get cozy but Cersei says it is all different—he was gone too long. The spymaid comes in with her news.

Ygritte makes arrows and Tormund accuses her of letting Jon go. Then the Thenns arrive. Everybody hates Thenns, not least because they are cannibals.

The Night's Watch trains and Jon tells Sam about Robb (who he has just learned was killed). Jon then faces the Watch leaders to account for his “traitorous behavior”. Aemon, at least, believes he was acting on orders and he is allowed off the hook, though Janos Slynt was a right prick. Jon warns them of the attack that is pending from both sides of the wall.

Olenna hates all the necklaces being considered for Margaery's wedding and sends her hens off to find a better one. Brienne comes to pay her respects and Lady Olenna thinks she is marvelous. Brienne has a word with Margaery to tell her how Renly died.

Joffrey poses like a prat as Jaime and Ser Meryn discuss wedding security. Joffrey peruses the Book of Brothers and mocks Jaime for his lack of deeds, then insults his potential, now that he is old and only has one hand.

Dany's army marches whild Dany and Missendei discuss Meereen. Daario comes to discuss strategy. He shows her three flowers, each telling her something different about the people. She is impressed in spite of herself. They then reach a series of crucified slaves, one at each mile marker. Dany wants to look on each face before they are taken down, de-collared, and buried.

Brienne and Jaime observe Sansa. They debate how to keep their oath now that Lady Caitlyn is dead and Sansa is married to Tyrion. When Sansa is done “praying” Ser Dontos approaches her and begs she take his family necklace so it can have one last moment in the limelight.

Arya and the Hound come upon an Inn. Arya spots Poliver and in spite of the Hound wanting to just move on, she moves toward the Inn. The two are spotted, so have to go inside or it will look suspicious. The Lannister men inside are abusing the Inn keeper's daughter and taking whatever they like. Poliver comes to talk to the Hound. He doesn't recognize Arya. The Hound gets increasingly belligerent and a fight breaks out. Arya just watches at first, until she manages to get hold of a sword. Then she kills one soldier and hamstrings Poliver. She runs through the dialog of what he said to Lommy before killing him, then says what he said to Arya on taking Needle (That's a nice little bladed. Maybe I'll pick my teeth with it) before running Needle through his throat. They ride off, Arya now on her own horse and armed with her own sword.


Review

This is my favorite season opener since Season 1. Truly. I love the sword motif throughout, and the last scene with Arya and the Hound has some of the best quotes of the entire series (most delivered by the Hound). The introduction of Prince Oberon was also extremely well done. I love everything about Pedro Pescal's portrayal, and that was not a given. The character is larger than life and it would have been easy for him to have ended up a caricature.

The Thenns are a little overdone. Especially as, in the books, the Thenns are the tribe north of the wall that actually has royalty and works with iron—the most advanced of the tribes, if you will. But I suppose there is a point to having one tribe of hated Wildlings to allow the rest to be more forgivable.

New Daario is even less Daario than original Daario, but he is hot and I like the actor. I don't think he does a bad job. I just sort of wish they'd kept the character flamboyance from the books. Blue hair. Gold tooth.

Lady Olenna was awesome as always.

And man, Joffrey... he raises prattishness to entirely new levels, eh? He is such a jerk about Jaime. Looking forward to his wedding...