The Wildlings (including Jon) walk toward Castle Black on the south side of the wall. Ygritte and Jon discuss marching and fighting and the role of sigils and drums. She mocks the way of the southerners. Jon confronts Orell about cutting them loose on the wall. Orell tells Jon that is the way of it...
The rain is slowing Robb's party in getting to the Twins for Edmure's wedding. They all head to bed. Robb and Talissa make love then Robb gets up to strategize so Talissa writes a letter naked. She teaches him a bit of High Valyrian and asks if when the war is over he will come to Volantis with her. She says her mother will be eager to meet him... and her grandchild. She is pregnant. The news resparks their passion.
We get sex lessons from Tormund, then the wildlings get moving again. Orell tells Ygritte he's jealous She says he's never said a kind word. He asks if she loves Jon and she nods.
Sansa expresses her sadness to Margaery, sad about not marrying Loras, sad about marrying Tyrion. Margaery asks how Tyrion has treated her and talks of sons. Sansa is hung up on the sex with a dwarf. Margaery talks of the variety of men out there and what women like, then says she heard Tyrion is quite experienced. A good thing, since women are complicated. Sansa preciously asks if her mother told her that.
Tyrion complains Sansa is a child and Bronn tries to get him to admit he wants her. Shae won't like it, but Bronn reminds him he can't marry Shae.
Tywin comes to the throne room to talk to Joffrey. Joff asks for a report of the small council. Tywin says Joffrey is welcome to attend, to which Joffrey snivels about it being moved to the Tower of the Hand (all those stairs—waaaaaa). Tywin says Joffrey could be carried. Joffrey asks about the Targaryen girl and her dragons, but Tywin insists she is just a curiosity across the world. Joffrey asks why he wasn't counseled and Tywin says he is being counseled now.
Dany's army approaches Yunkai. Jorah says they won't meet in the field and insists they don't need Yunkai. Dany asks how many slaves there are. She wants to take the city to free them. She asks Grey Worm to set up a meeting. A spokesman arrives and uses a lot of double speak to both be courteous and insult her. He gives her two trucks of gold then says there is more o her ships. She refuses, telling him he can live if the masters free all the slaves. He says they have powerful friends. She keeps the gold and sends him away with the help of her dragons.
Tyrion tries to give Shae a thick golden chain. She asks if she's invited to the wedding. He swears it's his duty. They argue about what their life will be like. He insists he will give her a good life but she isn't satisfied.
Gendry and Melisandre sail down the river. She points out “his father's castle”. He tries to soak it in.
Beric invites Arya by the fire. She calls him and Thoros traitors for selling Gendry. They explain the Red God needed him. She says he's not her god. Her god is death. Anguay comes in with news of a Lannister raiding party. It means their trip to River Run is delayed. Arya calls Beric a liar and runs. She escapes the cave, only to be nabbed by the Hound.
Jaime comes to say good-bye to Brienne. She asks if he knows what the plans are for her. Bolton is leaving, too, so she will be stuck with Locke. He says he owes her a debt and she says if he returns the Stark girls to their mother, the debt is paid. He swears it. Qyburn helps Jaime ready his horse. Jaime tells Roose to say the Lannisters send their regards to the Frey/Tully weddiing. Locke taunts Jaime about Brienne.
A couple girls free Theon and play weird sex games with him. Theon begs for help. Violet undresses Miranda and she climbs on, then Violet undresses and as the two tag team a horn blows, Ramsay interrupting. Then then tries to run and men hold Theon down as Ramsay removes his cock.
Jon and Ygritte eye a deer. She gets it with an arrow. Hey pass a windmill which Ygritte thinks is an impressive structure. He tells her Winterfell is three times that high and they discuss swooning and fainting, foreign concepts to her. He says he'd like to see her in a silk dress so he could rip it off her. She says “You rip my pretty silk dress, I'll blacken your eye.” He tells her the history of wildlings attacking the watch—six times they've failed.
Osha questions why Jojen gets to sit and chat. She accuses him of filling Bran's head with black magic. Jojen says they aren't going to Castle Black. The three-eyed raven is beyond the wall. Osha tells what it's like north of the wall, sharing her story of Bruny who became a white and almost killed her.
Qyburn asks after Jaime. Jaime asks why the Citadel took his chain. His sin is curiosity and Jaime puts together that he performed experiments on “not dead yet” men. They discuss how many they've killed and how many they've saved. Jaime asks if a raven was sent to Selwyn Tarth—it was, and one returned, but because Locke was under the impression Selwyn had all the sapphires in Westeros, he felt cheated by the ransom offer. The men want distraction more than money. Jaime goes to the leader and says they go back or Jaime tells his father that he is the man who wounded him. They return to Harrenhall to find Brienne in the pit with a bear and only a tourny sword. Jaime offers money to save her and Locke scoffs so Jaime jumps into the pit. He distracts the bear, then boosts her and she reaches down to pull him out. Locke threatens, but Jaime knows Bolton would choose Jaime returned to Tywin over Locke keeping Brienne.
Notable Quotes
Orell: People work together when it suits them. They're loyal when it suits them. They love each other when it suits them. They kill each other when it suits them. She knows it. You don't. Which is why you'll never hold onto her.
Tyrion: I don't pay you to put evil notions in my head.
Bronn: You pay me to kill people who bother you. The evil notions come free.
Shae: I'm your whore. And when you are tired of fucking me, I will be nothing.
Jon: If you attack the wall, you'll die. All of you.
Ygritte: All of us. [kisses him] You're mine and I'm yours and if we die we die. But first we'll live.
Review
It was so completely satisfying to watch Tywin school Joffrey. That little snot has run amok long enough and it is nice to have someone there who can put him in his place.
Also... the pinnacle of Jaime's redemption. In the books it keeps going, but sadly in the show this seems to be the peak.
Surprisingly the two best speeches come from Orell and Ygritte. Wildlings aren't normally so eloquent, but both of these are great.
I like the tender glimpse of Robb and Talissa. And I mourn Sansa's last bit of illusion that the world might bring nice things. Losing Loras seems to be the final straw of that. She has some triumphs after this, but none of them is so light-hearted and giddy.
And can I say the BEST part is our anticipation of Team Fuck-the-King which began when The Hound grabbed Arya...